 | Its been two years since my last post. Many things have happened, many changes have occurred: some sad, some bad, some good, some great, some awful etc. But here I want to share a little bit of the latest changes, some achievements and of course some of the failures I have experienced for the past two years. One thing I can say for sure is that I am about 70% pleased as to where my life is at and as to where I think I am headed. The other 30% is trying to think about what should I do next meaning: should I stay where I am? Or should I try something new? We all go through hardships in life, we all are fighting demons day and night trying to be the very best we can, but it doesn’t matter how hard we try we still fall out short to our own expectations. |
I tried many times thinking about coming up with the best way to start writing these past two years in a blog I left for dead. And as they say we can start from the beginning. 2017 was one of my favorite years in teaching, had a great partner new, yet ready to tackle every challenge. The other class members were amazing and little did I know, that other teacher would become my best friend in Osaka. If it wasn’t for him I might be somewhere else in Japan.
In December 2015 I decided to embark myself in one of the most difficult trips of my life: quit smoking. I was able to hold for three months and then gave in once, then quit again and slipped again over and over that year. But I was able to not smoke for several months consequetively (a big major win!). 2017 came by and “tried” to smoke a single cigarette a day (idiotic) couldn’t control it and ended up going back to being a smoker... at least until June.
In December 2015 I decided to embark myself in one of the most difficult trips of my life: quit smoking. I was able to hold for three months and then gave in once, then quit again and slipped again over and over that year. But I was able to not smoke for several months consequetively (a big major win!). 2017 came by and “tried” to smoke a single cigarette a day (idiotic) couldn’t control it and ended up going back to being a smoker... at least until June.
Some of you know about my love life (freakin’ rollercoaster), some of you don’t. For starters, I’m not a player or enjoy fooling around random women, I’d rather spend some time with them, build a relationship and after all the checks have been covered... become intimate. I tried everything, meet ups, going to bars, meeting people at schools, tried going dancing, painting etc... met plenty of women but none of them stuck. So, I went to the easy version of it and used an application (I know odds are very low) in May I matched with some I have lots of things in common.
We started chatting (very Japanese) so politely in the beginning. Our conversations started to become longer and longer and so I decided to ask her out after two weeks of chatting about random stuff. First time we meet, I thought she was super cute as she tried to speak English but it was clear to me she couldn’t. She was impressed by my Japanese and spent the next few hours eating curry and walking around Amemura towards a pretty old school Cafe where we joked and laughed until she had to leave with her friends. After that we saw each other around 4 to 5 times a week and so I decided to lie and tell her that I am not a smoker... I tried before and was able to hold it for several months on and off so, YEAH I can do it! It took me a month before I had to tell her. This time was harder than before and maybe it was because I just didn’t have any motivation whatsoever to do so. Some said, ‘you have a girlfriend, there’s no better motivation than that’ however, the first, second, third, and even fourth time I tried I wasn’t doing it for myself, I was doing it for someone else.
We started chatting (very Japanese) so politely in the beginning. Our conversations started to become longer and longer and so I decided to ask her out after two weeks of chatting about random stuff. First time we meet, I thought she was super cute as she tried to speak English but it was clear to me she couldn’t. She was impressed by my Japanese and spent the next few hours eating curry and walking around Amemura towards a pretty old school Cafe where we joked and laughed until she had to leave with her friends. After that we saw each other around 4 to 5 times a week and so I decided to lie and tell her that I am not a smoker... I tried before and was able to hold it for several months on and off so, YEAH I can do it! It took me a month before I had to tell her. This time was harder than before and maybe it was because I just didn’t have any motivation whatsoever to do so. Some said, ‘you have a girlfriend, there’s no better motivation than that’ however, the first, second, third, and even fourth time I tried I wasn’t doing it for myself, I was doing it for someone else.
| I don’t know if its Japanese culture or maybe that she wouldn’t say anything about it but she didn’t freak out or even mad at me. She said she understands and will respect my decision as to readyness to quit. So, met in May starting dating in June... August we moved in together! So extremely fast, but why did I do this? To be honest, at some points in my life I wondered if it would have been better to wait just a little longer, but at the same time I’m glad I didn’t wait. There are things I miss about living by myself but there so many more I enjoy by being with her:
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There are many things that happened in 2017 but one of the best is for sure my girlfriend. I’ve learned and keep learning lots about myself and honestly if in a relationship you’re not getting better, then what are you doing? There are times, countless times I wanted to just leave her and be by myself, alone, quiet, none one to bother (even now) but in my case I need someone to make me think about the consequences if my actions and thoughts. The picture you see above with the Pagoda was the first time I would see her cry; she never really explained as to why she cried that day, but she mentioned she hasn’t feel this happy in long long time.
Unitl next time...
Unitl next time...
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