Its been two years since my last post. Many things have happened, many changes have occurred: some sad, some bad, some good, some great, some awful etc. But here I want to share a little bit of the latest changes, some achievements and of course some of the failures I have experienced for the past two years.
One thing I can say for sure is that I am about 70% pleased as to where my life is at and as to where I think I am headed. The other 30% is trying to think about what should I do next meaning: should I stay where I am? Or should I try something new? We all go through hardships in life, we all are fighting demons day and night trying to be the very best we can, but it doesn’t matter how hard we try we still fall out short to our own expectations.
In December 2015 I decided to embark myself in one of the most difficult trips of my life: quit smoking. I was able to hold for three months and then gave in once, then quit again and slipped again over and over that year. But I was able to not smoke for several months consequetively (a big major win!). 2017 came by and “tried” to smoke a single cigarette a day (idiotic) couldn’t control it and ended up going back to being a smoker... at least until June.
We started chatting (very Japanese) so politely in the beginning. Our conversations started to become longer and longer and so I decided to ask her out after two weeks of chatting about random stuff. First time we meet, I thought she was super cute as she tried to speak English but it was clear to me she couldn’t. She was impressed by my Japanese and spent the next few hours eating curry and walking around Amemura towards a pretty old school Cafe where we joked and laughed until she had to leave with her friends. After that we saw each other around 4 to 5 times a week and so I decided to lie and tell her that I am not a smoker... I tried before and was able to hold it for several months on and off so, YEAH I can do it! It took me a month before I had to tell her. This time was harder than before and maybe it was because I just didn’t have any motivation whatsoever to do so. Some said, ‘you have a girlfriend, there’s no better motivation than that’ however, the first, second, third, and even fourth time I tried I wasn’t doing it for myself, I was doing it for someone else.
I don’t know if its Japanese culture or maybe that she wouldn’t say anything about it but she didn’t freak out or even mad at me. She said she understands and will respect my decision as to readyness to quit. So, met in May starting dating in June... August we moved in together! So extremely fast, but why did I do this?
To be honest, at some points in my life I wondered if it would have been better to wait just a little longer, but at the same time I’m glad I didn’t wait. There are things I miss about living by myself but there so many more I enjoy by being with her:
Unitl next time...