It is incredible how much life can change when you make the decision to work on yourself. I’ve always been trying to become what I thought people needed me to be, wanted me to become and for some reason I was able to achieve so much with this way of living. I would push myself to accomplish things I wouldn’t even want but that help me get to where I currently am.
My life in Japan has been amazing. I have heard many stories of people living abroad and saying that it is really hard for them, how often times they feel homesick and wish to go back home. Perhaps it is because they don’t speak the language or maybe they just don’t like living in Japan. However, for me I have been able to be open about my feelings and discover the things that I love as well as accepting that it is okay to feel the way I do.
There is a T.V show called “How I met your mother” where the main character is constantly looking for her “one” and only partner in life. He often falls in love quite quickly, idolizes his partners and ends up breaking with up soon enough. Well, that is something similar to what happened to me. I would immediately project all the things I wanted onto them and had a very high expectation of what I wanted.
Not only with romantic partners but with friends as well making my life very difficult to handle. I constantly cancel plans or lie that I have plans with people because honestly I have no interest whatsoever in hanging with people who bring me no joy.
I chose this picture because this is the embodiment of how I currently feel. During a pandemic that doesn't look like is going away anytime soon I have been able to find happiness in the things I can control. I love where I am in life and only looking forward to what the future holds.
I will focus on the things I can control and that is my mind. I can control what I accept into my body and mind. It is within me to be successful and to be successful there is nothing better than surrounding myself with like-minded people.
Thank you for joining me through this change and self-worth journey.
Getting to know people, getting to spend time listening and sharing stories, getting power and motivation from others who also want to get better is beautiful and priceless. It is true that you are defined by the people around you. It is difficult to see how toxic a person or environment can be until someone challenges you or you realize that you are overreacting to a situation that doesn't require your energy or effort.
My running community continues to expand and I can only say thank you to all of you who continue supporting me and pushing me to be a better instructor, leader, and guide to all.
I tried many times thinking about coming up with the best way to start writing these past two years in a blog I left for dead. And as they say we can start from the beginning. 2017 was one of my favorite years in teaching, had a great partner new, yet ready to tackle every challenge. The other class members were amazing and little did I know, that other teacher would become my best friend in Osaka. If it wasn’t for him I might be somewhere else in Japan.
In December 2015 I decided to embark myself in one of the most difficult trips of my life: quit smoking. I was able to hold for three months and then gave in once, then quit again and slipped again over and over that year. But I was able to not smoke for several months consequetively (a big major win!). 2017 came by and “tried” to smoke a single cigarette a day (idiotic) couldn’t control it and ended up going back to being a smoker... at least until June.
2016 has been a year with so many ups and downs.
In the end, I'm pretty anyone who's reading this might think, you're ups are by far way better than your downs. Someone other might even say that those downs have no co-relation with my ups. My ups clearly show an attempt to make my life better. From those horrendous dates I had I did learn some valuable stuff. Thanks to one I started my "unsmoking" life and thanks to the other selfish prick I regain my love for painting. So, of course the ups surpass the downs in every way. But, why do I still feel empty? Why do I still feel in need of attention and validation? Well, again thanks to those dates I learned that I want everything to be perfect and such thing doesn't exist and even though I know this I still pursue it.
I decided to be my own man. At 29 I decided to start looking for myself and stop trying to please everyone. I only need to please one person and one person only, myself. I need to impress myself, I need to love myself and accept and be proud of my own skills.
For example being proud of my drawings:
Oh well, all I can say is that I'm definitely proud of what I have achieved this year. I want to say I'm happy with my current life style but I can't. I definitely need to start doing more of something. I don't even know what, but I'm certain about something. Is that from this moment on I will start focusing my energy and thoughts onto what I like. It might sound a bit selfish and childish, especially being 29 and all but I need to start somewhere. I have been doing everything feeling less, feeling that I'm not worth it, feeling that I owe everyone an apology, feeling targeted etc. Time to start seeing and doing thins differently!
I've heard so many things about Osaka people being different from Tokyo people. So far the biggest difference I've seen is that the city of Osaka is way dirtier than Tokyo. In terms of people, Osaka people tend not to follow rules such as speaking on the phone while on the train, cutting in line when the train approaches and if you bump into someone else I haven't heard that many "Sumimasen or gomen nasai". But, then again, everyone has a different story to tell.
I've been here for two weeks and this is what I feel; Osaka is dirty, rude, straight-forward whereas Tokyo is clean and fake. I say fake because they'll never tell you how they feel about something. They'll just take it in and move on with their lives whereas Osaka people or Kansai people will definitely let you know how the feel about something in particular.
Nonetheless, I'm enjoying it down here and hope to stay here for a while.
My new job comes with lots of new challenges: classroom management, lesson planing including but not limited to Social studies, Math, Science and English. Last Thursday I had the chance to cover for a K-1 class and I have to say, even though I was nervous, I had a great time being with the children. They also seemed to have a good time. We spoke about Spain and different countries. We also made the classroom flag (Go Penguins!)
So far I'm super excited with what this company has to offer. It's overwhelmingly high the teachers with an educational background. My previous job: I believe I was the only one with a background in Education.
I feel like a complete beginner but that's good as I'm getting motivated day by day. This coming week is "Mad about Science". I've already have some ideas for what to do the entire week.
Thank you Osaka and thank you new company!
It is incredible how fast time goes by. Looking back to when I first started I never thought I would achieve this feeling of success in such a short time. From all the jobs I've ever had, even owning a company, nothing ever made me feel so good about myself: changing lives, teaching, seeing children grow, creating a positive atmosphere where everyone is happy to come and have a good time with you. I never felt so loved in my life, never felt so accepted or wanted. Sadly, my objectives in education are not what the company is aiming for and thus, I needed to start looking for new opportunities where those objectives can be met.
高徳院大仏ーthe great buddha of kamakura
Kanagawa's small city Kamakura is sometimes called the Kyoto of Eastern Japan. This is due to it's numerous temples, shrines, and resemblance to the city located in the Kansai region, Kyoto. That's why, I decided to give it a try.
I went to visit The Great Buddha of Kamakura, a monumental outdoor bronze statue of Buddha located at the Kotoku-in Temple. The funny thing about it is that you can actually get inside for 20 yen (20 cents), the interesting part is -- there's nothing inside...
Pikachu's week in Minato Mirai Yokohama!
ピカチュウ大量発生, which means "An outbreak of Pikachus", ran from 9 to 17 August in Japan's second-largest city,Yokohama. It hosted a week-long festival dedicated to the one and only most popular cartoon and video game franchise, Pikachu,
You could see Pikachus everywhere in the area, including the Nippon Maru where a large Pikachu can be seen on its bow. However, I find Pikachu's entrance a bit disturbing .
I am a huge fan of this little buddy that it really surprised me how Yokohama had a Pikachu outbreak. A large Pikachu balloon, Pikachu's march, Pikachu bus, Pikachu bus driver etc.
This event made me feel like I was 12 again, playing Pokemon red version on my big gray game boy (not even GB Color). Ah, the good old days.
Here's a small video of the Pikachu march:
Thanks and stay tuned for the next post!
横浜市歌ーYokohama City's song
Another day in Japan, and another beautiful experience in Minato Mirai, located in the city of Yokohama, Kanto Region.
The weather this day was extremely windy (49 kph), and about 32 C. In this occasion, I had the opportunity to experience 盆踊り祭り「Bon dancing festival」meaning simply Bon dance is a style of dancing performed during Obon. The music can be songs specifically connected to the spiritual message of Obon.Every Bon Festival will vary from region to region and Yokohama didn't miss to present an amazing show.
I was able to capture one of Yokohama's best songs. The song in the video here-under is entitled: "横浜市歌” aka Yokohama City's song.
It was created in 1909 by 森林太郎 (Ogai Mori). He was a Japanese Army Surgeon general officer, translator, novelist and poet. The lyrics are so beautiful that every person from this part of the country feels so proud of it's city.
This is how it starts:
わが日の本は島國よ 朝日輝ふ海に, which means: My Japan is an island, where every morning the sunrise illuminates the sea.
Please enjoy the video: