The beginning of this first sub 3 story started way before 2021. I believe that my life changed drastically since October 2020. I am using this month because it is when my life started crumbling and when I started losing sense of who I was and who I wanted to become. I started doing things that weren’t good for my mental health. I was acting and behaving like a complete stranger. Now, looking back I am baffled by that person and even surprised that I didn’t feel anything by the things I was doing. At some point in my life I was eating 2 to 3 donuts a day and running 10 kilometers daily to burn them out. I was measuring what I was eating and even weighed 59 kg. I have never weighed this much in my life. I thought it was making me happy but in fact I was hurting so much deep inside.
Nara marathon 2021
I am hating this...
As I was about to start my second lap, I felt something weird and remembered I forgot to do something before walking out my apartment, something so important it can ruin anyone’s run... to poop. I was so frustrated, how could I forget to do that? So I go to the toilet and take care of business. However, right before walking in, both knees started to feel tingly. I felt weird and thought maybe I didn’t stretched enough or maybe it is because it’s a bit cold and they need to get warm “but how can that be if I already ran over 4K?” I didn’t stop (big mistake) and decided to keep going until the pain goes away.
Of course, the pain continued to grow until the point I thought “maybe I made a mistake with the tape?” So I took it off, stretched my knees for a bit more and continued my run. I was able to do four rounds (12.2K) before having to give up and call it a day. I was so frustrated since it was a beautiful day, I wasn’t tired at all nor my legs were giving in or whatever excuse I could come up with... the reason was my knees. December 22nd was the day my training for the Shizuoka marathon got halted and here I am, almost a month later not being able to run.
The next two days were awful. I went to visit my girlfriends family in Hiroshima and couldn’t walk properly at all. Couldn’t go up the stairs, and didn’t want to think about walking down them. Lucklily, my right knee was able to take the hits and heal pretty quickly but my left knee was my problem... A problem I am still dealing with.
I was angry, very angry. I couldn’t believe that I still needed to wait, especially with the Osaka Half-Marathon coming up next week. So I started jumping, stationary running if you will. I was able to do so for around 13 minutes straight with some tiny little tingly sensation. I don’t know if I should call this a win but, I am for sure desperate for some answers...
Let’s see what happens between now and January 27th.
Matsuri (祭) - Higashi Rinkan
We are currently at the peak of festivals/matsuri in Japan. It's summer time, weather hitting the 35 C, humidity of 80% but this doesn't stop the Japanese from having a great time by showing their skills in traditional dances. You listen from miles away the chants and the sound of taiko (Japanese drum). Like if they were calling you. As you get closer, you realize something great is about to start. You see people wearing traditional Japanese clothing, following the rhythm of the taiko.
I had the opportunity to experience yet another beautiful festival. This time in Higashi Rinkan. There were different groups from different sectors in Sagamihara, showing us what they've been practicing for a long time.
Matsuri (祭) - Sagamihara
Nihon e Yokoso, en otras palabras, bienvenido a Japon.
Como muchos sabran, mi objetivo, no sueno era vivir en Japon. Despues de lograr ese objetivo, era mi mision buscar mi sueno. Pelear y pelear por algo que aveces se ve inalcanzable o fallar muchisimas veces, o darte la ilusion de ir para luego decirte que hubo problemas, fueron pocas de las razones por las cuales me fue negado llegar. Pero hoy es diferente, porque hoy, trabajo y vivo en Japon. Despues de casi 7 anos de perseguir este objetivo, al fin, me encuentro aqui.
How many times have you felt like you don't belong? That you have nowhere to go or simply you don't know where to look for answers. In my case, way too many. I have to say that when in solitude, I often think about if what I am doing is the right thing to do. Somehow, after several time thinking about it (often referred to as: after I already did it) I regret my decision.
When do you know that you're right? When do you know if what you're doing is correct or beneficial for you in the long run? I guess, it all depends on how well you "plan" your next step. As a still "young adult" I constantly fall into the sunk cost fallacy dilemma: is it worth it to continue doing something that has cost you so much to achieve, yet suffer most of the journey?
Violence, including bullying and other types of behaviors, has seen increased political and scientific attention over the past years. However, this behavior among younglings and schools has declined over the past decade; the abuse of children by other children in school settings remains as one of the major issues of concern among adults and communities. In response, a number of intervention programs have been developed to help reduce the amount of bullying and violence in schools. Results suggested a significant effect for anti-bullying programs. However, as expected, some of the results seemed to fall under some sort of publication bias and did not meet the necessary objectives for practical significance. Publication bias (or the “file drawer effect”) occurs when articles with statistical significance are selected for publication more often than are articles that do not obtain significance (Rosenthal & Rosnow, 1991).
Bullying Part #2
On my first part I talked about the misconception people have about bullies, and before slightly touching the prevention programs against bullying in schools I would like to continue with some important facts about this topic.
Bullies are often seen as someone who repeatedly attacks another individual who is completely defenseless and not fight back. Ross (2002) summarized a study done in Finland; these people during adolescent years are likely to be at risk of depression and low self-esteem. However, is this characteristic preventable in early years? Tremablay & Nagic (2005) stated a co-relation in the behavior and how it is close to impossible to prevent how a bully is born: For children it is normal to act like a bully. Toddlers typically hit or kick their mothers and pinch and bite other toddlers and older children call each other derogatory words otherwise known as name-calling; they often criticize each other’s personal traits and even curse at their friends. As these actions seem to be bullying, no single act defines a bully. Berger (2007) noted that to be bullying, harmful actions are repeated and victims are defenseless.
Bullying Part #1
Bullying has been studied for many years in many countries defining it as the dehumanizing experience that manifests itself in the form of rumors, name-calling, physical or psychological abuse, social exclusion and many other degrading forms. However, as every person is different, bullies are so too. In short, a bully is someone who thinks possesses power beyond comprehension, where the need to “show-off” its dominance against classmates, co-workers, or anyone close becomes an obligation. Many argue that bullies lack of self confidence but Allen (2006) argues that scientists have been battling with the question aggression and self-esteem, and to simplify everything: they link the two. However, she made an extensive research on self-esteem and its true meaning.
Baumeister, Campbell, Krueger, and Vohs (2004) mentioned self-esteem is constantly viewed as a communal problem for Americans, who tend to worry that lack or insufficient self-esteem leads to a life with various undesirable behaviors. Prof. Baumeister (1996) challenged that bullies in fact, hold favorable and perhaps inflated views of themselves. He also reviewed several empirical studies on how murderers and rapists respond to self-defining statements, he pointed out that these individuals firmly believe they are superior, not inferior. However, here I would like to argue that when answering these type questions people tend to go for what they think is the right answer and/or provide with information they would like to read and believe about themselves.
Everyday motivation from personal experiences. Self-motivated and ambitious fighting for glory and greatness.